Today my little girl is 1 year old. I can’t believe it. I mean it went quickly with my first but with her, my second, it really has flown by and I say that with no exaggeration. And that’s why I feel sad, I barely remember those early newborn days now, where she was all scrunched up and so dependent on me. The nights she spent sleeping on my chest because she wouldn’t fall asleep in her crib. The nights spent feeding her, scrolling through Instagram and writing blog posts on my phone at the same time!

One of the best bits of advice I got from one of my friends when I was pregnant first time around, was that the night feeds are special, savour every moment, it’s precious time for the two of you. And she couldn’t have been more right. I know the night feeds are difficult, you’re tired, so very tired but somehow they can be special too. I miss those night feeds now (told you I was a bit crazy).

I was lucky enough to really enjoy the newborn stage, I loved it. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t without tears, exhaustion and not knowing what the hell I was doing (particularly with my first) but they’re just so special at that stage, so utterly dependent on you. You’re getting to know this little human being that you’ve bought in the world. You’re finding your way as a family, now you’ve grown.

We’ve decided that we won’t have any more children. We feel completely blessed that we’ve had two beautiful children to complete our little family. But there is part of me that feels sad, sad that I’ll never hold a newborn baby of my own again, sad that my kids are growing up way too fast, sad that they’re getting more and more independent. When Sam was 2 he said to me “Mummy I don’t need to hold your hand anymore, I’m a big boy.”  Heartbroken!

I know everyone says it but really enjoy those early days, they’re precious and go so quickly. You won’t be up in the night forever and they’ll soon be telling you that they don’t need to hold your hand!

Happy birthday to my beautiful baby girl Jessica.

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