I knew that I wanted to write to you all but I wasn’t sure if I had the words. The words to express what we’ve been through this year. The words to provide comfort as we go into Christmas. A Christmas that highlights the experience of the year, further heartbreak, further disconnection.
In an ordinary year Christmas can bring up many emotions. We grieve for our loved ones who aren’t with us. It emphasises loneliness. We have these lofty expectations that we all try to aspire to. Or we look into other peoples lives telling ourselves that it should look a particular way.
But this year, this year is a year like no other. There’s a greater depth of grief. The loss that we’ve experienced this year; for the people we love, for our lives, our jobs, and for the complete disconnection we’ve experienced.
It’s important we acknowledge this. To honour what’s been true for you this year. Everything you’ve felt and are feeling.
Yesterday I did just that. I allowed myself to be with the grief in my heart. The grief that I felt at going into tier 4 and not seeing those I love, after a year of not seeing them. I can still feel it there, softly moving through me.
This year, this year will be different. Allow it in, allow all of how you feel, no matter how you feel.
When we allow it in we can soften, soften into our hearts.
Letting go of the inner battle, the inner fight.
Perhaps this year we can create a different picture of Christmas?
One of my friends yesterday said that we have a unique opportunity to take care this Christmas. I know that so often I go into the New Year feeling tired and sluggish after Christmas.
This year we can nurture ourselves, we can offer ourselves tenderness, rest and love. Which is so needed after this year.
Winter is a time to go inward, it’s a time for hibernation. And yet Christmas usually calls for us to go against this, to go against nature and our normal rhythms.
So perhaps we can tend to ourselves and everything we need in this moment. Whatever it looks like for you.
If you need support, reach out to those you love. Please don’t be afraid to reach out to those you love and check-in on those you love.
If you need rest, rest your tender body.
If you need comfort, curl up on the sofa and do what brings you comfort.
If you need love, send lovingkindness to yourself.
I want to acknowledge each and every one of you, for everything you’ve bought this year. For your courage, your hearts, your love.
Let’s come together in love this Christmas.
I also want to acknowledge those of you who have lost someone this year. Under any normal circumstances the first Christmas is hard. This year it feels insurmountable. Honour your grief, the person you’ve lost. I’m sending you love.
I’m sending you all love.
I know not of all of you will celebrate Christmas. Not everyone will be in Winter. I invite you all to rest, to take time to acknowledge this year and where you are.
Nicky Duffell is a Registered Nutritional Therapist and Maturation Coach, bringing together nutrition expertise, functional medicine and powerful coaching techniques to support the whole you: Mind, Body and Soul.
Nicky qualified from The Institute for Optimum Nutrition in 2009 and is registered with The British Association for Nutrition and Lifestyle Medicine (BANT), and the Complementary & Natural Healthcare Council (CNHC). She is also a member of The Institute for Functional Medicine (IFM), and has a specialist interest in grief work.