When my Mum died I felt like I was the only person in the world who had lost her Mum and going through grief – even though I knew that wasn’t true, not only was my sister going through this but one of my friends had lost her Mum a few years before too.  

But when I did my first Race for Life I was astounded by the amount of women who had their numbers on their back that said ‘For Mum’.  It was then that I realised I really wasn’t alone.

It was a really profound moment for me.  I looked at all these women of all ages, all of whom had lost their mothers.  I couldn’t believe it.  You think going through something like this is rare but actually it isn’t, we just don’t see it or talk about it.

Then it passes, it’s always there but I think then as time goes on you can speak about it even less.

And there are other times I’ve felt alone, when my husband left, when grief creeps up on me, when I was a new Mum and all those times when I’ve been sleep deprived.

In reality I wasn’t alone, there was always someone to turn to but I didn’t always reach out.  I’ve now learnt to pick up the phone when I need to – to not be afraid of saying “I’m going through something right now” – to let people in, to see when I’m hurting or upset, or when things just aren’t altogether.

And to also talk more openly about the things that make me who I am now.  Not just when I’m going through something but day to day too.

That’s life, it’s full of ups and downs, of waves that come and go.  

We’re surrounded by people who are going through things, sometimes great things like loss, sometimes just the things that come with life.

One thing I know is that loss and suffering are part of life.  Buddhism speaks about 10,000 sorrows and 10,000 joys.  That’s the flow of life.

But I also know you’re not alone.

Nicky Duffell
  • https://www.facebook.com/nickyforlife

Nicky Duffell

Nutritional Therapist

‘Look after yourself first and then you’ll have the energy for everything else’

Nicky is a registered nutritional therapist who takes an integrative approach that works on both the body and the mind. She’s passionate about teaching women (and Mums) to look after themselves first, so that they can be there for their children and have the energy for whatever life has in store.

Nicky qualified from The Institute for Optimum Nutrition in 2009 and is registered with The British Association for Nutrition and Lifestyle Medicine (BANT), and the Complementary & Natural Healthcare Council (CNHC).

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